Here the double-bind of Jeanne White is most distinct. How
tempting it must have been to say, "No, Ryan. I want to hold
you, shelter you, guard our time left together. Don't take
on another battle for us. Hasn't life been cruel enough
already?" Ryan's risk for infection from his fellow students
if he were allowed back into school could hasten his death
dramatically.
On the other hand how she must have ached to change to
climate that was stigmatizing and punishing her son who had
already been victimized enough. He wanted to go to school.
Here was a young adolescent who might never reach adulthood,
who, in the midst of a fatal illness and public derision, was
struggling for independence. In making this decision that he
clearly felt strongly about, could she have felt anything but
proud? Could she do anything but support him with all her
resources?
Besides, here perhaps was a battle they could win. All the
anger and the terrifying helplessness (which mothers of
healthy children can only begin to imagine) could be focused
on and directed into this battle. Jeanne White could not
cure her son of hemophilia. She could do even less to help
him fight AIDS. At least in the battle for social
